The Griever’s 3 Promises
The grief journey that you are walking is 100% your own. You have permission to grieve in your own way and on your own timeline. Take a look below at the 3 initial promises that you can declare to make your journey just a bit lighter.
Promise yourself to:
Flow with your emotions – The range of emotions that arise and subside and arise again are oftentimes simply too difficult to control. So don’t try to control them. Flow with them instead. When a happy thought or memory crosses your mind, give yourself permission to smile and laugh. When a sad thought or memory crosses your mind, you may need to close your eyes and weep.
Be kind and patient with yourself – It is crucial for you to give yourself a break. You are not “over” it just because someone thinks you should be or even if you think you should be. And you won’t feel one way or another just because someone thinks you should. While the hope is that you won’t feel as deeply broken months after a loss as you did in the first days and weeks, understand that while grief will be with you the rest of your days, you can learn to carry its weight a bit easier.
Be aware of the limitations of others – When you are committed to flowing with your emotions that can mean crying one moment and smiling the next. And sometimes – oftentimes – people around you have a difficult time with this. And that’s OK. It’s OK for them and it’s OK for you. It’s simply the nature of grief. You are not responsible for how others react or even recoil from your grief. Never, ever apologize for how you feel.
Please note that while your grief journey is yours alone, you must be safe. As a griever who has seen many dark, dark days, I can tell you that I understand your deepest, darkest thoughts. If you know you are at risk for suicide, please reach out. It can get better. I promise. If you are at risk for suicide, homicide or other harm or injury, please call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.